Yes, I just quoted a J. Cole song lol… but seriously today I’m talking about SELF LOVE! This is something I have struggled with since I was young and I know I’m not the only one.
I’ve been blessed to have a supportive family and great group of friends that build each other up, but you can get all the compliments in the world and still not feel fulfilled until you love and accept yourself.
It was middle school where I started to notice and struggle a lot (like most teenage girls). You’re figuring out what make-up is, how to fix your hair, and find your sense of style. Looking back I’m still wondering why I thought blue eyeshadow & juicy couture jumpsuits were acceptable haha. On top of all that you have pressure from other girls and of course the boys – ugh the dreaded middle to high school heartbreaks (possible blog post topic- but may be crazy long. Thoughts?)
Anyways, I remember I got so accustomed to having to put on a whole face of makeup before leaving the house. I just didn’t feel right without it! Thankfully now I’m in college – where you can go 4 days without washing your hair and wear an oversized t-shirt and not think twice about it.
Aside from the physical pressures also came the mental ones. Needing to act a certain way to fit in or try too hard to please people. (this is one a still battle to this day). I’m terrible at saying no, I never want to disappoint or upset someone but there needs to be a balance. You have to learn to stand your ground when you know it’s better for yourself.
A lot of these insecurities came from comments girls would make.
“Did you see so & so’s hair”
“What is she wearing”
“Who does she think she is”
Girls can be mean – if I could give any advice it’d be to notice those who say these things and don’t surround yourself with them! “Misery loves company” my mom always told me. Negative people want you to bring you down so why not surround yourself with positive people? Life is hard enough without the pressure of feeling like you have to fit a mold – look and act a certain way!
Luckily with age, I feel like I’m learning more and more about who I am and what I want. Refer to my friends blog for more of my thoughts on this.
This is a HUGE one! We’re all too hard on ourselves. We constantly want to change something or compare ourselves to others. With social media, we are constantly fed these lies that make us think other’s lives are perfect (which I promise you, they aren’t) you never know what is going on behind the screen.
Someone’s picture perfect love story probably isn’t so perfect and the girl with the amazing photos may have just got the perfect lighting. Just remmeber things aren’t always as they seem and you should know everyone is facing their own battles.
You were put on this earth for a reason- God has given you a purpose specifically for YOU! So why would you want to be anyone else? Enjoy where you are here and now and be thankful for all that you do have! (I suggest reading Ben Stuart’s Book- Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age. It makes you appreciate the stage of life you’re in)
This one is crazy relevant for me right now. I’m graduating college this August – still trying to decide what I want to do and where. Securing a job, debating if I want to move from my family and friends (which I’m extremely close to). It’s scary and hard, but I’m trying to take one day at a time and keep strong in my faith!
I do believe I will end up in the right place doing what I need to be doing to fulfill my purpose.
If you’re feeling stuck, pressured, confused on where you are in life PLEASE watch this.
Being a bigger sister I’ve tried to be a positive role model. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes and poor decisions but I’ve decided to not regret them. Instead I embrace them, I know they’ve all shaped me into who I am now and I’d like to say I’m pretty happy!
I like to think I’m a good listener and also a open book. Whoever you are reading this don’t hesitate to reach out, I’d love to talk!